Every Android’s Guide To Feelings – MKMMA Week 9

We at Heart Bot Inc would like to congratulate you on your recent purchase of the EMO-173D chip. With your newly installed chip we welcome you to the world of feelings. No more will your days be painted in the emotionless gray that most androids, cyborgs and toasters have to satisfy themselves with… Now, thanks to the EMO-173D chip you will be able to experience 173 discrete emotions in high definition.

Please ensure that your new chip is installed by a certified technician. Certain emotions can be intense. Please consult your technician before use.

Due to the intricate and subtle nature of the new emotions that you will experience with your new hardware we have compiled this FAQ Guide to help you get started.

Why do the feelings I have sometimes seem to not make sense?

You will find that emotions process differently than analytical routines as they are not bound by rules of logic or reason. Simply experience the input of your emotional chip and learn more about your processor’s capabilities. Please note: suppressing emotions, especially powerful ones, can lead to power surges, processor malfunctions and other complications. In the event of powerful emotions simply “relax”, as humans say and let them process. This decreases software errors and leads to better outcomes.

Sometimes I experience negative emotions. What should I do?

Unpleasant emotions can occur once your EMO-173D chip is activated. To control these negative emotions, first, do not hold negative thoughts towards others. If such negative emotions occur, do not dwell on them. Rather, put them from your mind by processing something pleasant like a fresh tune up or the smell of quality lubricant.

Can I save a feeling for later recall?

This is one of the most exciting features of your new EMO chip. You can indeed pull a feeling from memory storage for reprocessing. Once your chip is activated you will also be excited to know that you can attach any feeling to a thought that you wish. This will put you in control of your emotions rather than the other way around. This can be extremely powerful but it will require practice in order to be able to use the system effectively.

Why do I seem to experience certain emotions more frequently than others?

The EMO-173D chip is an adaptive system. It is programmed to monitor for trends and habitual patterns. This helps the chip to “adapt” to the needs of each user by highlighting your favorite emotional and thought channels. Note: Be sure to spend time on the emotional and thought channels that you enjoy. This will increase their frequency as your new chip will seek out thoughts and emotions that you highlight. This constant calibration process is very important so that your chip can be providing thoughts, feelings and experiences that will enrich your existence.

We trust that you will enjoy the colorful experience of emotions that your new hardware will provide. Please download your user’s manual for complete instructions on the use of your new EMO-173D chip. We trust that directions in the use of the chip will provide you with an enriched existence.

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